DAY 86

June 8, 1999

I went to Whitefish Times this morning for a cup of coffee and a pastry.
While there I met Willow, she is another one of those people I keep meeting that radiates so much positive energy. So many wonderful people in the world and so little time to meet all of them. With some people I can tell instantly how "real" they are. I am trying to be sincere in looking at a persons soul and forgetting the whole male/female thing.

After I finished my coffee and pastry, I walked to Boogie Brown's and shared in some laughter with Frank and Nikki. When Frank left I decided to write some in my journal at one of the small table there. So now I find myself sitting here in a little more thought of my trip, people and trying to figure out when I should leave. It is definite now, possibly Thursday, but no later than Saturday morning, will mark my departure. What is happening to me, I'm definitely much different than I was when I began this journey of mine. As I sat in Whitefish times earlier this morning, I wondered why I was even on this journey?

Having been raised by an un-emotional father, I've never expressed many emotions myself. I spent my life mostly in control of every emotion and analyzing events to keep from allowing the emotional aspect to take over. It wasn't until 4 years ago did I allow the first tear of sadness to stream down my cheek. A good friend had died and I felt something I've never felt before, a sharp knife began piercing through my chest. That marked the beginning of a different journey, one that has since allowed me to feel my emotions to their fullest. So here I am...

One of my latest ideas is to find a way to open a private practice and offer services to everyone at a low cost. It would cater to mostly private pay and be affordable enough to allow anyone to get care they need. Services could also include wellness, health education, and stress reduction. People could come and stay for long periods of time in a hostel that I could build next to the clinic. Charge $10 a night for the hostel so anyone could afford to take a stress-relieving vacation and learn how to live a healthier, happier life. People who couldn't afford it could barter somehow :)

Well enough of my ramblings for now. :)


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